


Confession -  Septiplier

by HandShark



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: In Marks thoughts though in 3rd person, M/M, Mild Language, Requests, Surprise Ending, kinda angsty but not main idea?, okay maybe more angsty then I thought, poor edit, positive outcome, tumblr requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 16:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7276204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandShark/pseuds/HandShark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Au where Mark and Jack are non-youtubers, roommates in college, who go to a convention where Mark is fighting acceptance of 'this is how it is' and where Jack lets a lil secret slip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confession -  Septiplier

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t your typical confession but I enjoyed the idea of it. Hope you all enjoy it too. Thank you dalonewolf298 from Tumblr for the request :3
> 
> Note: This has been edited as of 1/7/17

It was like breath had been taken from his lungs. An exhaustion of heat that only needed a touch of water to quench, however his hand would never be able to reach the oasis. Simply watching, waiting, seeing everyone move around  _ them _ and yet knowing they’d always be feet apart.   


This drives him crazy. It's not like time spent together was in vain but the constant thoughts, the feelings--things he ignores everyday just to put the other’s needs ahead of his own racks his brain. It’s like an argument you can never win.

Yet day in and day out he finds himself here. Comforting the person he’s long to hold and shouldn’t that be enough to satisfy him? It’s never enough in these situations, yet he refrains. Sake of keeping a friendship alive cause that would certainly break him if it were to ever fall apart.  
  


But does his feelings not matter either?

\---

He closed his fist tightly. Digging his blunt nails into his palm trying to steady his thoughts; to keep himself from reaching over and taking the other’s hand as they walked.   


His emotions probably wouldn’t be so ancy if it weren’t for the event. That and the fact the two were sharing a room. Hotel costs are high and for anyone who wanted to go to a convention, in general, would need to get roommates for the weekend. College was bad enough as it is, so freely agreeing to room with him again was the right choice but the worst idea.   


He let air leave through his mouth. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until now.     


“You okay?”, came softly from that familiar yet  _ painful _ voice. 

**Now, now. You love that voice. It's only painful because you know he’s not interested in you like that. Don’t take your lack of acceptance out on him.**

The raven-haired composed himself quickly as he turned to his right offering a gentle smile in return. Trying to give as much excitement he could to his voice, “I’m doing great!”    


He caught eyes with the other however. It was apparent he didn’t sound convincing to him. Concerned plagued those wonderful blue eyes and he couldn’t help but think that worry should never be there. Especially if it was caused by himself and his lack of control.  


He couldn’t keep eye contact much longer and locked eyes with the floor.   


“I’m just a little uncomfortable,” he laughed nonchalantly. Acting to keep his cool by averting the attention, looking to the crowd, watching as the mass amounts of people walk around them. “As many times as I’ve been to conventions it still never seems to get easier,” shaking his head he let out a sigh, hoping his attempt to change subjects worked.   


It wasn’t like it was completely a lie either. Crowds were never his thing; not that he couldn’t handle them though. Conventions were just worse when it comes to being too close for comfort with people. People who usually weren’t used to crowds too and all being shoved into the space together... It’s chaos really. Plus it was a good enough excuse for Jack not to question it.    


“Mark."  
  


Or so he hoped.  
  


The voice brought him out of his thoughts again as he turned to the right of him The warmth of a slender hand squeezed at his shoulder as the other’s expression was still filled with concern though this time bore a smile.    


They had stopped now and Mark was stuck. Stuck having to face his friend. _Friend._   
  
It pinched his chested to use the term. It's not like he hated it, actually rather adored that word in honesty, but couldn’t help but feel sadden by it when comparing it to the other.  


“We don’t have to do this,” Jack spoke softly. His voice was as discernible with worry though his atmosphere was calm. Gentle. Kind. Blue met brown and he smiled even wider. He was looking at Mark confidently and Mark couldn’t help but stare back at him in awe.    
  
He took in every inch of his face. Warmth radiated off of him. It seemed so kind, so understanding, it could make anyone feel like they were the center of  _ his  _ universe. Even if that wasn’t fully the truth, his caring nature always brought the man a comfort he’s never felt but had always adored.   


Jack was the first to break contact this time looking over to the crowds as if collecting his thoughts to speak. If you blinked you would have missed it but Mark swore that he’d blushed. Mark’s brow grew with irritation before, once more, looking out to the crowd along with him. He didn’t know his build up tension was making Jack uncomfortable.    


“I know your fondness for crowds aren’t ah _ -the best _ , but you’ve been excited for this con for weeks.” Jack said quietly, sounding almost sadden by stating it.

That was true, Mark had raved about the gaming convention end on end to the point of annoyance and he was  _ still _ was excited about it... But during those last two weeks before it he couldn’t bring himself out of the rut he put himself into. About his feelings towards Jack. It was his own fault really. Jack loved him, not in the way he wanted and in honesty he didn’t actually mind that. It's just… it was hard finding yourself wanting more from someone when you can’t have it. That ‘expectation’ that you create that makes things more than what they are then leaves you disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Even with people you care most about.   


He shouldn’t be doing this to Jack, this was their weekend away from school drama and life’s stresses. He didn’t need to bring Jack down with him.

“Look I know I seem a little off but I am still excited about this Jack,” Mark stressed before looking over from where he had been staring off, smiling genuinely as possible for Jack.   


Jack’s expression however was still knitted but Mark was serious, in as happy a manner as he had been in a long while because he was excited about the con. He was excited to get to experience it with Jack. He always looked forward to doing anything with Jack. Everything was always better being able to do it with him.

Mark just needed to get over himself.   


“I-“   


“I know when something’s eating at you Mark. I have roomed with you for over 3 years, and counting. I have seen you at your best and at your worst,” Jack cut him off. He didn’t seem irritated or angry though. Jack just sighed, seeming to try and be patient with him. Mark was kicking himself for being so transparent. If he’d just done something else; distracted him better, anything! Jack wouldn’t be so worried over Mark’s stupidity.

An unexpected chuckle came from Jack though that caught Mark’s attention. Jack had a smug look on his face, “Mostly worst cause fuck it if anyone can make it a week with out breaking down in Mr. Hanson’s class.”   


An involuntary chuckle spurt from the half Asian that grew into a hardy laugh along with Jack’s. That caught him off guard, but  _ boooy _ was it true. Professor Hanson’s class was the absolute fucking  **worst** . You can literally hear him from a mile a way when he starts an argument and could practically sense the fear in the people around you. Everyone knew the lashing that waited the poor student who challenged him was lethal.    


“But in all seriousness,” Jack let his laughter die down, taking a breath to calm himself ignoring the random stares from people around them. “Whatever it is,  _ ‘who’ _ ever it is. Is taking you from your enjoyment here. This is a weekend away from all those issues and enjoy in something you love to do man.”    


Mark wanted to say something to that. Anything but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. It’s like being caught in a lie and you can’t say anything else to it other than the truth and the truth was the last thing he wanted to spill.    


“You know we don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to,” Jack spoke softly watching Mark as he gave him a confused looked.

“What do you mean, we kind of already paid for the hotel room and everything so that be-“    


“No! No,no I didn’t mean- _ damnit _ ,” He was fumbling with the misunderstanding for a moment till he closed his eyes. ”We can still go to the convention, I mean we’re standing right here in the middle of the damn thing right? But what I meant  is–you’ve been stressed. We don’t have to add to that with the crowds and all the people. We don’t even have to go back to the room either, but you need to get this off your chest dude. I want you to enjoy yourself, I hate to see you strung up in a mess over stressful things, you deserve a break Mark.”   


That stung. At the same time it also made him happy. It was stupid of him for not realizing what he meant though. He was too caught up in himself in the moment to see things right in front of himself.

The care the other had, the attention to detail and ability to pick up on others. Either it was Mark’s poor sense of containment or just Jack's aptitude to read people; which he was sure was the later. Mark needed to get over this, not for the sake of Jack but for himself. Accepting what is and letting it go of what won’t be.

Mark took a deep breath.   


“I’m okay Jack…. I mean, I’m not okay but I am getting over it.” He sighed looking down letting his shoulders fall with the breath.

“Sometimes we all can’t get what we want. And I’m just being difficult about it. I can’t expect to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same feelings as mine and I can’t hold them to that. I will be alright though. I’m being mopey but I realize that even passed all this stuff they still care as deeply for me as I do for them, it’s just not the same motives.”

He’d get over it, and it wasn’t like he was losing. Jack just meant a lot to him and he still does; nothing is going to change that.

He smiled and looked over to him kindly, “I’ll be fine.”   


Jack studied his face for a moment before he finally accepted his words and sighing in relief. He must have known this for a while now? Mark had the tendency of not realizing how brunt he could be about things without actually saying them. More often than none.

Things to work on he supposed.   


Mark placed his own hand on top of Jacks and gave it a squeeze as his smile grew, “And I do feel better now Jack. I think I did need to get that out of my system. Thank you.”   


Jack smiled brightly at him. Mark’s heart swelled; even more than usual. Maybe it was the moment. He may not have the more he wanted with him but he wouldn’t lose anything from him. His admiration and relationship with Jack would only grow. That he couldn’t be happier about, things would be okay.   


Jack chuckled. Smiling in as relief washed over him more, seemingly glad it wasn’t something far worse which Mark suspected he thought of because he always did.

“I’m glad to hear it, honestly I was scared you had gotten yourself in a nasty relationship again without telling me, like you had with Batts back in Second Year.”   


He knew he thought worse but not that worse! Mark physically cringed at the name, “Oh god dude, never-not in a million years ever. A fire like that I know I could never handle again.” He laughed at the notion; he wasn’t the best at picking the right people to date, or more so was a pushover when saying ‘no’ to people. Poor Jack always got the first hand of that drama. He was thankful it wasn’t that kind of situation.   


Jack squeezed his shoulder once more before relishing his hand from between it and Marks, bringing it back to his side. “Honestly I’m relieved to hear you hadn’t gotten into another nasty relationship, or one in general, would’ve made my chances slim.”   


“Trust me, if you taught me anything is never to go for—“  
  


Mark stopped and blinked a few times.  
  


__ Was that?  
  


He’d turned to look at Jack who was staring down at the ground, wide eyed with a furious flush across his face.   


Mark couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face, “Did you just?”   


“Did I just what?” Jack shot up. He smiled widely and changed his stance quickly as his eyes looked from side to side nervously before changing subject just as fast, “Well hey since you got that out of your system, how about we go and check out that New Games booth then? You’ve been talking about how you wanting to check that out while we were here. We still have some time before Pewdiepie panel!”    


Jack started to rambled, chuckling nervously as he fiddled with his pockets to find the con map. Mark hadn’t really paid attention to what else he’d said as that sentence just played over in his mind as he stared at the other.

Jack stopped talking as he looked up from the paper to Mark. If he wasn’t flush before he certainly was now. Mark’s eyes were lidded and a large grin grew across his lips.   


“ _ Jaaack _ ,” Mark hummed drawing out the vowel in his name.    


“W-What?” Jack quickly looked away and scratched his under nose furiously with the top of his index finger, a habit he did when he was hiding something.   


“You just confessed a secret didn’t you?” Mark leaned in and raised a brow. In any other instances this would’ve been a joke but Mark just knew better and Jack gave away all the guilty signs.   


“N-No I didn’t, I don’t know what your talking about!” Jack rocked on the balls of his feet as his face scrunched in denial looking at the paper. He clutched them in his hands before shooting forward, quickly walking away. Mark followed swiftly along with.   


He was prepared to give it all up. A notion that he’d accept and get over and be fine with but it was all wiped with the simple slip of the tongue.

It had been a rollercoaster of emotions in the past 30 minutes and he  _ did not _ see that one coming…but boy was it more than welcomed. Guess Jack is still full of surprises and Mark’s hope just filled to the brim in less than 20 seconds flat.  
  
Conventions were always full of all sorts of exciting things. 


End file.
